Don’t Skip the Car Rides
Friday nights with our cowboy boots, country music, and DJ Chicken Nugget.
Or maybe it’s a weekend full of games, snacks and sledding at the cabin.
Or it’s a trip up to the PA Farm Show in January to walk down the isles trying all the free samples.
Or a spontaneous day at the beach on a warm day in February.
Or a road trip where your only lodging is an air mattress in the back of the car.
It doesn’t matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, if you want to get somewhere, chances are, you’ve got to ride in the car. And when it’s all over and you look back at the memories of all the places you’ve gone and things you’ve done, I’m here to tell you: Don’t Skip the Car Rides.
Over the years of going places and doing things with my friends, I’ve come to realize that some of my most cherished times with them aren’t actually in the places doing the things- it’s the car rides to get there.
Those car ride conversations are the times where we’ve gotten to truly know each other. That’s when our relationships grew from “fun acquaintance” to “deep, lifelong friendship.”
So often in life though, we put the car rides under the “boring” category of how we spend our time. And let’s be honest, sometimes car rides are boring. That’s why we take naps in the backseat! But boring or not, we can’t skip the car ride or we’ll never get to the activity!
Take my example of going line dancing; a few years ago, my friend and I would go on Thursday nights to a place that was about an hour away. Since it was so far, we’d often carpool. One hour there. Three hours dancing. One hour home. Then sometimes two more hours parked in the driveway talking. That’s how it went and I LOVED those nights! Yes the dancing was tons of fun, but what I loved most was how close my friend and I got during those car rides. We became best friends (and still are).
Recently, I’ve been reading Jeff Bethke’s book, To Hell With the Hustle, and in talking about the contrast between life’s big and exciting hustle and the more boring ordinary parts he says, “Boring and ordinary are signs of intimacy to me. So, I wonder if in our dislike of those things, we are actually saying no to intimacy too. Shallowness is essentially the king of the day as long as we uphold fast, spectacular, and incredible moments as the markers of true life. Not boring, mundane, faithful love and presence.” (ch 6, pg 126) We NEED those boring moments in order to have a real, intimate relationship with anyone. With friends. With spouses. With children. And especially with Jesus!
I’ve come to realize that lately in my relationship with Jesus, I haven’t been taking much time to actually, simply, be WITH Him. I’ve been doing things for Him, but not actually with Him. I’ve been skipping the car rides and teleporting right to the activity!
Generally, no matter what the activity, it’s more fun with friends. And the better friends you are, the more fun you’ll have together doing the activity. Imagine though, if you never took the time to get to know somebody, just skipped the car rides and did a bunch of random activities together. It’s basically like riding a rollercoaster with the stranger behind you in line. It’s kinda awkward. Yes the flips and twists are still fun, but it’d be way more fun if you were riding in the seat in front of you with your best friends, laughing and screaming the whole time.
It’s the same way with God. We need to take time getting to know Him intimately- in prayer and studying His Word- if we want to truly enjoy doing things for Him and with Him. And technically, since everything in this world (including our lives) is already His, we need an intimate relationship with Him to TRULY ENJOY LIFE!
And just like with any relationship, if you don’t continue to take the time to actually grow together, your desire to be with that person, even in the fun activities, will begin to disappear. You’ll find someone else, someone you’re closer with, to do all the things with and eventually, that friendship that was once so meaningful and exciting to you, will be a thing of the past.
But when you don’t neglect the car rides with someone, when you have a close intimate friendship together, it doesn’t take something as big as a road trip or cabin weekend or line dancing to be enjoyable. It can be a trip to the grocery store or a weekend painting or a wrong turn off the highway. It can be “boring” but the company makes it enjoyable.
And remember, God’s the same way. You don’t have to do big, spectacular, incredible things for Him. Even the simple, everyday parts of life can be exciting with Jesus. As Jeff states earlier in the chapter, “Boring is holy. Obscure is holy. Mundane is holy. Boring is not a sign of the curse (meaning the brokenness of the world), but actually a sign of intimacy.” (pg 124)
So go all the places.
Do all the things.
But don’t skip the car rides.
(Not with me. And not with Jesus.)
Check out To Hell With the Hustle by Jeff Bethke; seriously this book is fabulous and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone!
